Starting young : The Truth

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQZBM7cjf4U&playnext=1&list=PL223907D916A38A95Do you every see a pregnant teenager and wonder how she ended up in such a situation? Or better yet do you have a daughter who is a teenage mother and she told you she  got pregnant on accident? What if I told you that teenagers are getting pregnant on purpose?  I know this from first hand experience because I was one of these girls. I am a teenage mother. I had my first son when I was just fifteen years old.

   My name is Victoria. I am a teen mom. The first time I decided I wanted to have a baby was after the first time I had sex, when I was fourteen.  I went on vacation after the incident. We did not use protection and while we were on the phone discussing "What if" we got into the subject of pregnancy. "What if you got me pregnant?" " Well if I did get you pregnant I would take care of you. I would be a better father then my dad was to me" " well maybe we should try." was my response. Don't ask me what I was thinking because I have no idea what made this thought run through my head.

That was it. The decision was made. We would try to have a baby. Him at the age of 13 and me at the age of 14. It sounds pretty stupid now, but we were in love.

I bet you are wondering what would poses a teen to want to have a baby. What would make them want to give up there freedom. And the answer is, I don't know. All I knew is that I wanted to have a baby and give it all the love I could. And I know some of you must be thinking "well maybe she didn't have a good family life. or maybe she wasn't educated of the consequences."
However, this is not true. I had a great family life with all the support I could ask for. I had a mother and a father my whole life. I was also what you would consider "a rich girl".  I have had traumatic experiences in my life such as my brother molesting me for four years. But that is another story that I believe is not related to this one.

Everyone gave me a hard time when I got pregnant 9 months later. My mom knew I was having sex and begged me to get on birth control, which I refused. So obviously she was very disappointed when I told her I was pregnant. Then came the hard part. Telling my dad. he was very angry and didn't talk to me until I was 8 months pregnant. This of course hurt, but I knew he needed his time. Everyone thought I got pregnant on accident. But how wrong could they be.
Home wasn't the hard part when it came to being pregnant. School was where it got tough. Everyone was really mean to me saying I wasn't pregnant, and I was lying, and that I was lying about who my baby's father was. They obviously knew nothing. Then everyone was saying my boyfriend was denying my baby and he was just using me for sex..etc. Which I later found out was not true. But they wanted to ruin my relationship and they nearly did. When I was about 3 months along I started getting threats from girls at my school saying that I wasn't pregnant and that if they hit me they bet I wouldn't go to jail. I of course said nothing because I wanted my baby to be safe. Even now 3 years later people say that I am lying about who my baby's father is. Me and Aden's father have been together for 5 years and are very happy. We have had our rough times like any other couple, but having a family is worth it. 

Next,
 I know you all probably think that if you are a teen parent you will make nothing of your life. Let me be the first person to tell you, you are wrong. I graduated high school and I am now in college to become a nurse, and I have my phlebotomy certificate. Parenting is hard, but its not impossible. I know the struggle, but I know the reward as well. Who is really prepared to be a parent? There is no guide book to tell you how to raise your kids. I have been living with my fiance on my own since we were sixteen. It has been tough, but I am proud that we did it on our own without support. Without the government paying for our things. We are responsible for our children and that's how it is supposed to be. I have to admit. I have a great support system. My family had helped me in so many ways and it wasn't their fault that I decided to start a family young. I am just glad I was blessed with the circumstances I have. I know other teens are not as lucky.
I am now pregnant with my second child. This one was also planned. I wanted my children to be close in age. I am hoping for a girl this time around. I have made mistakes as a mother, but I do the best that I can. And even when times get had I have to remember that it was my decision to have a family young. I have to make sure that I give my kids what they need and want. There needs come first.

So this is something for you to think about. Next time you see a teenage mother, don't feel sorry for her. Maybe she chose to start young. And if your daughter ever tells you she is pregnant, don't assume it was an accident. Or don't just believe her when she says it was. Educate your children and make sure they know about birth control so if they do get pregnant, there is no excuse other then they wanted to. I do not condone teens trying to get pregnant in any way. Don't get me wrong. This was my choice and I if I could choose for other girls I would choose for them to wait. I have lost all of my teen years and waiting wouldn't have hurt. I do not regret my decisions but I do not want others to regret theirs.