Okay so I know I have rambled on a lot about how I am a teen mother, and how I became a teen mother intentionally but I really want to talk to all you young girls out there about what the reality of parenting is. I know that a lot of teenage girls are sexually active & if they are not then they are thinking about it. I just want to let you know that being a mother is not as glamorous as it sounds. I love my son very much, but it was very hard growing up and taking care of a baby at the same time.
A lot of young women may lie to themselves and say " this is great" but its not. Don't get me wrong there are very rewarding things about being a mother, if you put in the effort. It is also a VERY big struggle though both emotionally and financially. I have coped pretty well with the situation I put myself in, but that is because I had such a great support system and because my baby's father did stay. 9 times out of 10 this is not the case. Your baby's father may love you while you are talking about having a baby, but once the baby gets there it is just way too much for them to handle; then they leave.
Maybe you have lied to yourself and said " i am prepared for a child"" but the reality is your not. You can't take care of a baby on your own. You have to have someone help and support you. You may say "well I can get a job" well you know what at the age of 15,16,17 you can't get a good job. Even if you do get a good job it can only be part time making minimum wage, most likely at a fast food place. Then you have to think about a car, and gas, food for the baby, all your bills. You have to think a head. I had help until I was 17 years old. I couldn't afford stuff for my baby by myself. I had to rely on my mother-in-law to buy my sons baby food, and WIC to provide his formula. I went to drop my son off at his babysitters(who I couldn't afford to pay) at 6:30 in the morning. Then, I went to school from 7:30-3:00, then I had to be at work at 4:30 and didn't get off till 10. Now imagine doing this everyday and still having to find energy to wake up with your child and to spend time with your child, and maintain good grades. Its very stressful. I had several break downs at school. I would speak to the counselor and just have a nervous break down in the middle of the hall, or in her office. I had no idea why I was crying, I just was;I was emotionally drained.
You just really have to think about these things ahead of time. I can handle it now, I learned how to cope. No matter how prepared I thought I was; I wasn't. You know most of you mothers will be doing this on your own. I was very blessed to have the man I did by my side.Just do yourself a favor; go to school and graduate. Have fun with your friends. That's another thing, once you have a baby no one wants to be your friend. No one wants to hang out with you and your baby. All my friends promised they would be there for me and that thing wouldn't change but you know what, they did. I never saw my friends. They never called and I wasn't invited out. When I was invited out it was to go to a party and you know what my response was? It was" I can't I have a baby". I am not one of those dead beat mothers who pawns their kid off on their parents so that they can go party. That's not what I signed up for. I missed all the party's, I missed my senior trip,my prom, football games, I missed my high school graduation, and I lost my best friend. I had to graduate from an online high school. My son and my fiance became my best friend. You know I knew what I was getting into. I knew that I would have to give those things up, but a lot of you girls don't realize it.
I am going to be honest with you. And I am going to give in site to the mothers of teenage girls. You have to watch your children at all times. I have had sex with my mother-in-law in the same room without her knowing. You have no idea how creative teenagers can get. I will write another post for you mothers later on about how to keep a closer eye on your kids. How to make sure they don't end up pregnant. I want to help you and I want you to make sure they don't get pregnant. Even if it's what they think they want. I will help at all cost. You can e-mail me at victoria.baker0102010@gmail.com for advice or questions. I do not condone teen pregnancy and I want to help put a stop to this epidemic by helping all you mothers out there realize what the truth is, and how to keep it from happening to your daughter.
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